There's a song they keep playing on the radio at the moment called "Hangover".
I confess that I really like it, it's really catchy and very happy: " I got a hangover wo-o-oooo, I been drinking too much for sure, I got a hangover wo-o-oo, I got an empty cup- pour me some mo-ore..."
So, there I am driving in my nice family car along Rhodes Drive: shades on, windows down, kids in the back, singing along (I don't have a great voice, you wouldn't pay money to hear it- possibly you'd give me money to stop) and the music is quite loud. And, as the song plays, some thoughts occur to me:
1. The gentleman/infant who wrote the song was probably not thinking of a woman the wrong side of 35, driving in a sensible family car as his target market. In fact I have probably tarnished his cool rating by my behaviour, I reckon I can expect to be sued.
2. It's probably not very seemly for a woman of my age, at my stage of life, to be singing that song unless I want to invite the intervention of social services at the earliest opportunity.
3. My daughter- who is obsessed with song words- became very interested in the meaning of "hangover" and "trashed" as sung in the song. I really didn't need to be explaining that to her and answering questions like: "Have you been trished, mum?", "Do you have a hang over [words deliberately separated], mum? Does dad? How much wine is too much? What does it feel like?". No 5.5 year old needs that information.
4. Is a hangover anything to celebrate- really? Ever? Is waking up wincing with embarrassment at what you may or may not have said, dehydrated- with a mouth like a carpet factory at best or like a beaver died in your mouth at worst- anything to envy? These days, more than 2 glasses of wine in the evening and, I tell you, there's a beaver family making preparations for a family member passing in my mouth before the morning.
And finally, I thought- is there ANYTHING more incompatible in the world than children and hangovers? I can't think of a thing. Their early morning enthusiasm and chatter seems hateful and spiteful, their lack of understanding your need for personal space, slow movement and a strict requirement for noise to be below a certain decibel level is enough to make you never drink again. Is it me, or are they louder on those days, even more full of energy, even more demanding of your time? And whilst you're busy being irritated you're busy feeling guilty for being irritated because they're so sweet- if only you could reach for that glass of water and attempt to flush the beaver...
So, I concluded as I changed the music and turned it down, in order to avoid:
1) being sued for damage to reputation; and
2) an inquisition from social services; and
3) age inappropriate questions; and
4) Celebrating hangovers;
I think I should act my age. Barney songs anyone? Easy listening interpretations of 60's classics?
I still maintain that song is catchy though.....